Paul Blart: Beach Cop

You head down to Hidden Beach to take a pre-dusk swim and outta nowhere a car approaches with flashing blue lights. A private security guard steps out to inform you that you can’t swim at the beach.

No, this is not a skit from a sequel to Paul Blart: Mall Cop. It’s happened in real life to more than one beachgoer.

We’re swimmers, not lawyers but here’s some common sense: private security guards (hired by an adjoining property owner) have no authority over city street ends. So they can’t kick you off the beach when you’re heading out for a dip. Sure, they’re doing their job (everyone’s gotta pay rent), but you can ignore those flashing blue lights.

Do what one fearless beachgoer did recently after being confronted by private security at Hidden Beach. She simply told the guard, “I’m going to walk down to the beach and take a swim and you’re going to get back in your car and leave me alone.” Which the private security guard did. And she took a 10 minute swim. Even Paul Blart woulda been proud.